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8 Keys to a successful divorce

Divorce is never easy.  There are over one million divorces every year in the USA. So it involves much emotion during a divorce. Anger, sadness, regret, and betrayal. You might mourn for losing love that you and your ex once shared, or feel enraged by the time that you lost. Whatever your reasons are for getting a divorce, one thing is for sure, you want a successful divorce. You need to be able to get what you want out of the divorce and be able to move forward positively. 

Keep reading for 8 keys to a successful divorce!

1. Do your research

Before you decide to go ahead with your divorce, research is always a good idea. Researching aspects of getting a divorce, as well as lawyers, or even online divorce, will help you have a successful divorce. Make sure that you know your options. Divorce has changed so much over the years and getting a divorce nowadays is much easier than it was 20 years ago. Times have changed. If you have an uncontested divorce, you could easily get a divorce online. 

You can learn more about getting a divorce online by following this link.

Or if your divorce is more complicated such as a contested divorce, you don’t necessarily have to go to trial; you could try mediation. By knowing your options, you will be in a better position to make wise decisions. Once you have done your research and have decided which path you would like to take, compile a group of experts. Do you need a psychologist? A financial advisor? A mediator? A lawyer? Write out a list of the people you need during the divorce process and use them. If you do this, you can then call every expert when a new issue crops up and they will be able to give you expert advice, throughout the entire divorce process.

2. Write out all your questions

Sometimes when emotions are involved it can be really hard to think of what you need to ask your lawyer. Before you see your lawyer, write out every single question that you might have. For example, you could ask whether the length of your marriage will affect your alimony in any way? Another question you might ask is how does child support work and when do the children visit your ex? You might also wonder about how your debts and assets will be divided. Or do you have to share any inheritance money with your ex? Thinking about these questions and writing them down before you see your lawyer will save you time and money. This will also help you get your thoughts in order.

3. Be realistic with your expectations 

Before you get a divorce, you might have an idea about what you will be getting out of the divorce. You might think you will get the house, the car, the pets, the kids and a lifetime of alimony, where you can shop whenever and wherever you please. Sadly though, this is never the case. Most of the time judges reach agreements that are fair and equal. Know the law in your state. A judge will rule on your case with regards to the laws of that state. If you and your spouse can’t come to an agreement, you might need to get a mediator involved. Be realistic about your expectations and you will have a successful divorce that will run smoothly without needless amounts of fighting.

4. Keep track of your money

Divorce can be really costly unless you decide to have an online divorce. Online divorce is a much cheaper option than going the traditional route. But whatever you decide to do, you need to keep track of your finances. Make sure to tell your lawyer how much you can afford and ask them to please stick within those boundaries. Make sure of your debts as well as your assets. It would be a good idea to also write out a budget to see that you will be able to take care of yourself after your divorce. Seeing a financial advisor is also a great idea because they will be able to help you plan your finances going forward. If you manage to keep track of your finances you will be able to ensure a successful divorce, as well as a successful financial future.

5. Remember to keep your kids out of your divorce

If you have children involved during your divorce, you need to keep them out of it. Remember that your children are innocent in the whole ordeal. Try not to bad mouth your ex in front of your children. You need to remember that children love both their parents, even if you feel that your ex is a terrible parent. If you need to vent speak to a friend, a family member or a psychologist. They can help you deal with your emotions and help you keep your kids out of the middle of things.  Keeping your kids out of your feuds is important because if a judge finds out that your kids have been stuck in the middle of things, this could complicate the entire process and make things so much more stressful. Always protect your children. They come first.

6. Focus on your future.

You need to think about where you see yourself in the future. Rather focus on 4 years from now than today. A good lawyer will help you do this. You might think a certain split in assets now might be the right thing, but a good lawyer will help you find the best route for you to have a successful future. If you have clear goals in mind for your future, then you will be able to see what the best course of action is.    

7. Happiness is the best revenge

If you want a successful divorce, steer clear of infuriated arguments or hateful revenge schemes. Let sleeping dogs lie. The more you argue, the more expensive your divorce will be and the longer it will take for your divorce to go through. Even though it’s hard, you need to keep your emotions under control. Arguing could actually hurt the divorce proceedings, especially if you argue in front of a judge. Remember, divorce could leave you bitter. Don’t allow what your ex has done to leave you bitter. If you’re happy, then that will be the best revenge. Knowing that whatever they did did not break you.

8. Choose mediation instead of going to trial.

Rather than going to trial, choose mediation first. Often times most couples come to a settlement during mediation. At the same time though, it is important to think about the settlement for a few days before you agree to it, just to make sure you are happy. 

There are so many things to consider when going through a divorce. You need to make sure you think things clearly through. If you can stick to some of these points, then you will be sure to have a successful divorce!