If marriages existed in a perfect world, people would have marry once and lived happily forever. But, the world is anything but perfect and thus, you have people dying young leaving behind grieving spouses or sometimes the couples realise that they are not made for each other or are not compatible to stay together and they get divorced. These scenarios lead to a second marriage. In case your first marriage didn’t work, here are some secrets to a successful second marriage.
Try to Get Rid of Baggage
People often carry the baggage of their previous marriage into the new one. This leads to unhealthy relationship patterns, lack of trust and confidence, which can sabotage the new relationship. You should try to get rid of any old baggage and this needs conscious effort.
Practice Being Vulnerable But in Small Calculated Steps
The fear of vulnerability can be a real dilemma as it can make you feel exposed. But, not expressing your real feelings, wishes or thoughts can lead to mistrust or lack of intimacy, which is again not good for developing a healthy relationship. So, start being vulnerable in small steps starting with minor issues like meals, schedules etc. Once you gain confidence in the person, you can start with bigger ones like kids, managing finance etc.
Learn from Past Mistakes
The biggest advantage of being married for the second time is you know what went wrong and you can learn from your mistakes. Learning from your past mistake helps one to grow and build upon the new relationship.
Share Your Responsibilities
Often, when people get married for the second time, they are not two people who get into a relationship. There are kids in the picture and explaining things to kids can be tricky. Make sure that your spouse and kid gel along well. It has to be a slow process as the kid might take time to accept the new parent. This is especially true in cases where the kid is close to your ex and accepting a new person in his or her place is difficult for them.
Be Prepared for Your Role as a Stepparent
While it is difficult for the kid to accept a new parent, it is equally difficult for the adult to take up the new role of a stepparent. Understand that as a stepparent you can be better accepted as a friend, mentor, and supporter but definitely not as a disciplinarian. Leave that job to the real parent at least until the time you are fully accepted by the kid. Keep communicating with your spouse about your ideas and strategies to win over the kid. Working as a team will lead to a happy family life.
If you are determined to make your second marriage successful, respect and appreciate your spouse. Both the partners need to work together as a team if kids are involved too. For any relationship to last long, it’s important that there is trust and intimacy between them. Acceptance, forgiveness and positive communication will make your second marriage last a lifetime. With online access to matrimony apps like Shaadi Matrimonial App, it’s not difficult to find your perfect life partner for second marriage
