Best 100 Funny Facebook Status Updates Quotes

If you are searching for Best Funny Facebook Status Updates Quotes, then you are in the right place here in this article you will get the latest status and quotes for Facebook. People nowadays spend most of the time using social sites and they want their status to be unique so that everyone likes it. Facebook now has become a daily need for people. When they get up in the morning and check their Facebook accounts, and check what’s new. Today, the social networking site has more than 60 million active members, roughly the same population as the U.K. These users can now upload photos, have group discussions, and even play games on their individual profiles; they can also add one another as “friends” and connect with users who share sim­ilar interests, regardless of where they are in the world. Nowadays, more businesses and corporate folks are joining Facebook too, adding their pages to the Facebook network. funny facebook status

funny Facebook status

Funny Facebook Status Updates

I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hour
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.

If sex were shoes, I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.

With all this technology above and under, humanity still hunts down one another.

Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

On the other hand…you have different fingers.

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Even if you are a mass murderer, International rogue, and children Abductor, People Will Still bless you “continue to be who you are” on your birthday.

Winter as Hell – I ordered a pizza and the messenger comes with a Jet …

I saw a shampoo with the title: “Rich-looking” So I washed my purse.

I have an Impudent neighbor Knocking on my door at 2 AM He’s lucky I was in a drum lesson.

A lazy person is the one who can turn a call into a missed call.

Funny Facebook Quotes

  • A foot away from me it’s very cold outside… thank you house.


  • Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.


  • Don’t call me. Alcohol you later!


  • My hobbies:- switching between the same three apps for hours- imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist


  • Have you ever been so mad that you were calm?


  • Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.


  • I run because I really like pizza and beer.


  • It’s true, alcohol kills people. But how many people were born because of it?


  • If everyone was required to work in a customer service role for at least 6 months when they reached the age of 18, the world would be either a better place or a terrible place. You decide.


  • Anger is a valuable tool. Nothing has done more to change this world for the better than someone who is pissed off at the way things are.


  • Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!


  • A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the “b” is silent.


  • There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.


  • People, who leave the clicking noise on when texting, who hurt you?


  • If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.


  • Social media has completely changed the way we wait.


  • Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.


  • Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.


  • Of all the Spice Girls, Ginger Spice was the only one named after a spice.


  • The government takes your rights away and sells them back to you in the form of a permit.

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