Even if your friends and colleagues all have families and children, and you have recently become divorced, this is no reason to become disheartened. It is yet to be seen who the lucky one is — staying single post-divorce can be an excellent choice.There are several reasons why first marriages often fall apart:
Sociologists assert that young people under the age of 25 still do not fully understand the responsibility and consequences of the decisions they make. What drives impulsive marriages is an unstable emotional state and a strong physical attraction to the opposite sex. In one or two years, the “rose-colored glasses” disappear, and everyday problems (family support, parenting, etc.) come to the fore. It often turns out that the young couple was not ready for this turn of events, and sees only one way out of the situation – a divorce.
Both partners are young, attractive, full of energy. All their efforts are directed towards achieving professional peaks, while the other partner and his or her needs are pushed to the side. Feelings are dulled, and a split is inevitable.
After the wedding, many people have difficulty organizing and coordinating marital life. Some examples include: refusing to help with household chores, poorly spent money, unhappy children, etc. Love quickly morphs into hate, and there is no longer a way back.
Because of their young age, many spouses are unrestrained and jealous. A person of the opposite sex perceives, say, an innocent fleeting gaze and a slight smile as suggestive. When emotions run wild, it is hard to stay calm, cool and collected. In this way, jealousy has the ability to result in rash acts and the fatal decision to part ways.
Adultery and deceit can have different causes and subtexts, but the result is equally harmful. Men are particularly vulnerable to adultery committed against. In such situations, they feel overwhelmed, humiliated and can develop negative feelings towards females in general. When families break up, both spouses are likely to have played some kind of role, and there are quite a few reasons for this. But we will not delve into those nuances. We are much more interested in learning how spouses behave once they are free from the bonds of marriage.
Life after divorce
You have likely noticed that even the calmest and most positive spouses begin to behave somewhat unpredictably after a divorce. Some people start to drink heavily, others shut themselves in and renounce the whole world, licking their wounds. Still, others indulge in serious and self-affirming casual relationships. At this moment, when the pain of the first loss has faded slightly, they feel ready to start a family once more. But this might not be the best course of action.
You should think about the advantages of staying single after divorce;
In accordance with Onlinedivorce.com, there are quite a few of them. Let’s take a look.
As for the advantages of bachelor life, they may be fairly apparent, but it’s worth setting out some general principles first. The main benefit of staying single after divorce is the presence of freedom. Freedom in all its manifestations, starting with freedom of speech and ending with freedom of business and body, as no bonds other than legislation hang over bachelors.
A second thing that we can consider a plus is the lack of joint responsibility, which, although it is considered honorable in our society, imposes a cumbersome burden.
A third point is the lack of evaluation pressure. Any person reacts strongly to the assessment of his/her appearance, mind, professional and everyday skills, especially if the assessment is coming from an important person in our life.
Marriage notoriously brings about such situations, and not everyone can break through them. The lack of a financial burden affects men and women differently, but it has an unequivocal effect on both. Family money is always not enough, and while a bachelor has these problems as well, it is still easier to provide for one than two, three or four people.
The main advantage of a bachelor’s life is money that he can spend at will. Often marriage requires the sharing of wealth between partners, e.g. taking your partner to expensive restaurants, buying presents, providing for your spouse, etc., none of which is needed as a bachelor. He can spend money on himself to his heart’s content. The exceptions are bachelors with children, who allocate a large part of their budget towards them (as they should).
Lack of communication
This is also a critical positive feature of bachelor life. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, you communicate. For all but the most communicative of communicative people, a release from this is welcomed.
People who remain single after divorce are not too unlike children when they leave the care of their parents and start their own careers. Sure, on the one hand, mom’s special cookies are no longer on the table, and every day you have to get yourself up for work, but many derive great satisfaction from the fact that they don’t answer to anyone and are free to do what they want. You can come home at any time or not come home at all. You can bring friends over and hang out until the early morning.
Freedom in everything
A bachelor is free to do everything that his parents did not allow him to do and that his wife definitely would not let him do. And this is a big plus because a desire for indulgence lives in every man; only with great effort and willpower does he restrain it in marriage. Obligation means responsibility, something that many divorced people fear like fire.
Money is one particular type of responsibility that can put strain on marriages. In family life, its absence (and presence) can lead to significant misunderstandings, judgments and conflicts. The man is often the breadwinner, and as such he is obliged to resolve this issue at any cost. But what if he fails?
However, the thing that attracts men the most to staying single after divorce is the opportunity to be alone with their thoughts, fantasies, and desires without trying to explain why this is desirable.
If the masculine concept of bachelor freedom is associated with doing nothing, the feminine idea, on the contrary, is centered around using free time the perfection of self, and everything within reach. Sure, she brings men and girlfriends to parties, but she does it all with taste, sense, and style. Bachelorette freedom manifests itself in freedom from evaluation and scorn. She develops her style to her heart’s content and does not have to listen to comments from her husband.
Most women see the positive aspects of marriage, while just over half of men share this view. Bachelors who believe that this is indisputedly the best choice for them are almost invariably males, although there are a few such females as well. In marriage, there are those who enjoy it and those who don’t, and often both people can be found within the same marriage.
Marriage fundamentally changes the habits of people
Sooner or later fissures in a relationship make themselves felt. In a happy marriage, we see only the positives, and in marriages that are faltering, all the negatives come to the forefront of our perception.
Everyone knows that after marriage, some friends disappear. Social activities, in big groups, either stop happening or lose their luster. However – a bachelor will always find the time and opportunity to meet up with friends to have fun or for help. You have an excellent opportunity to communicate with people that you like.
As you can see, being alone is not so bad, and this does not mean that you should not socialize! Of course, family relationships have their advantages. But if they are not present in your life right now, this is no reason to despair; on the contrary, it’s time to use this period to the fullest.