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How do I get a Peaceful Divorce?

No matter how sophisticated and mature a couple may be, divorce is a trying and emotional experience that can often bring out the worst in the best of people. Still, it is possible to divorce without making an enemy of your former spouse. Communication is the key to understanding the other person’s point of view, the laws that affect divorce in Illinois, and the best way for both you and your spouse to divide assets and care for your children.
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Marriage Counseling

Before making the decision to divorce, it is important to seek therapy from a licensed psychotherapist. A marriage and family counselor can help you determine if your problems can be worked through within the marriage or if divorce is the best option for you. If you have children, they will also benefit from counseling. Any judge in divorce court will want to make sure that a divorcing couple has been to a family therapist and that the divorce is in the best interest of the child.

Division of Assets

When discussing who will get what, it is advisable to prioritize the things you want to retain from the marriage. Make a list of all the property you acquired during the marriage and then make a list of the items you want and have your soon to be ex-spouse do the same. If there is a conflict, discuss who needs that item the most and why. For example; if you are deciding who gets a car, you should base your decision not only on who put the most money into buying the car, but who will use the car the most and for what purpose the vehicle will be used. If one spouse is to be the primary caretaker of children, that party may have a greater need for the car.

Writing a Child Custody Proposal

Children are considered the top priority in divorce cases in Illinois. When you ask a judge for a divorce, you must write a detailed child custody and support proposal to take to the judge. If the judge thinks you are using your child as a pawn, or if the child’s needs are not being met in any way, this can greatly increase the time it will take to get a divorce and the emotional strain on everyone involved.

Explaining Divorce to Your Children

A child should never feel blindsided by a divorce. If you and your spouse are considering separating, it is important to discuss it with your child. In addition to letting them know that the divorce is not their fault, it is important that they know that although their parents’ marriage may be ending, it is also the beginning of a new, and hopefully happier, life for everyone.

Filling out Paperwork

There are many different forms to fill out when getting a divorce. If you have a no contest divorce, you will have to fill out different paperwork than if your divorce is contested. If you have kids, you will have to fill out different paperwork than if you do not. If you make over $60,000 of combined income, you will have different paperwork to fill out than if you do not make that amount. Divorce is confusing, and finding a good lawyer can make the experience easier.

Hiring a Lawyer

A good attorney will have years of experience, understand Illinois divorce law and have a stellar reputation with the bar. Robert S. Thomas is a Divorce Lawyer in Schaumburg, IL who possesses each of the qualities you need in an attorney. He can make sure your divorce goes smoothly, so you can get on with your life.

Authoritative Sources*

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201203/8-guidelines-friendly-divorce

https://www.forbes.com/sites/heatherlocus/2018/06/01/5-crucial-steps-to-make-your-divorce-less-painful/#85e0274612d3